Just wondering....

So there is a rumor out there that our agency has someone in Korea this week..... Is it true???? I should be brave and call and ask.... Oh I hope they are.... I hope they are seeing my baby and that they are taking video of her.... PLEASE let there be good adoption news today!

What's in a Name?

When Michael and I were expecting our first child we spent LOTS of time discussing names. We both suggested names that we thought "sounded good." We both suggested family names. We thought and thought and talked and talked. Then we decided we really wanted to name our children names that had meaning and significance.

A few days before Miles was born we were still thinking about names. Michael was searching the internet and looked up nick-names for Michael. He found Miles, an old nickname for Michael which means soldier. We loved that name and when Miles was born it fit him perfectly. We added the middle name Kent in honor of my grandfather. He was a loving and caring man and we wanted Miles to have those traits.

When I found out I was expecting our second child Miles was only 14 months old. He was very verbal. I asked him when I was 2 or three months along I told him, "Mommy is going to have a baby brother or sister. What do you think we should name the baby?" He looked up at me with those big blue eyes and said, "Happy." He stuck with "Happy" through the remainder of my pregnancy so when it came close to time to have Isaac we looked for names that meant happy. We found Isaac which means "he will laugh." We thought it was a lovely name and when Isaac was born the name fit him perfectly. We chose the middle name Lynn to honor a man who had a great influence in Michael's life.

I have looked at lots of name books and websites in my life. I don't remember when but a long time ago I came across the name Abeni. It is an African name that means, we prayed for this little girl and God gave her to us. Sometimes the meaning is shortened to girl prayed for. I loved that meaning and thought if I ever had a daughter I would name her Abeni. (Ab like Abby, a like a ball, and nee like knee.) We will be leaving her Korean name as her middle name. We are considering giving her an american middle name also. We haven't decided on that yet.

Okay All You Readers

Now we have had our blog for almost two years and have loved that we have so many readers... We have a Live Feed that shows from where people are coming to our blog or from which country or state. We have noticed many new people are coming, which is awesome. However we do not know many of you. So I am asking that those who come and check us out, please leave a little detailed comment about who you are and how you found our blog (if you remember). Obviously you are learning about my little family and our adventure of bringing home our little angel from Korea. Please do not be shy, you know we are not... We are firm believers of making friends with whomever where ever. Thanks for coming and reading our blog, we can't wait to get to "know" you.

7 YEARS!

Michael and I have been married seven years today. We had a great anniversary celebration! So for the last seven years my life has been completely different then it was before. Here are seven adjectives to describe my wonderful best friend.

1. Adventurous
I am a homebody but Michael is always up for a crazy adventure and that is what our marriage has been. There is never a dull moment when he is around I am loving the ride.

2. Entertaining
I can't believe how many voices my husband has. He can mimic most every character I remember from my childhood (and some I can't.) He certainly makes everyone around him laugh.

3. Comfortable
I love that Michael and I are so comfortable. I have never met anyone who makes me feel the way he does. Still to this day I am most myself when I am in his arms.

4. Passionate
Don't worry not in a gross way! Michael is passionate about life and what he believes in. He lives his life with his whole self and I am blessed to be something that he is passionate about.

5. Humble
Michael is so willing to change. He is always learning and growing and striving to be a better person. I learn from his example how to become a more shapable Child of God.

6. Gentle
There is nothing I love more then being held in Michael's big strong arms. And nothing I love more then seeing those same arms comfort and cuddle my children.

7. Strong
Michael and I have been through some rough stuff in our marriage and he has been my strength through all of it. We can do anything if we stand together.

I love my hubby! He truly is the half that makes me whole. I am so grateful that God placed him in my life that together we can journey into our eternity!

Movie Review-Or my thoughts about myself after watching a movie.

So last night Michael brought home "My Sisters Keeper" and I snuggled up on the couch with my favorite quilt to watch while he worked on powerwheels. First let me say that I loved that this movie made me think. I have a sick child. There I said it. I sometimes pretend that he is fine but in reality he is sick. Isaac is not terminally ill he is chronically ill. He will be sick for his entire life he will require care his entire life. I have a healthy child who sacrifices every day for his sick sibling. Every day he gives things up for his brother. He doesn't give up body parts or anything but yes he gives up little bits of himself. I know that Miles doesn't mind you can see the love he has for his brother; he cuddles him kisses him and even helps me talk him into putting on his oxygen at night. Michael and I try hard to be sure that Miles still feels important and valued and I think we will work even harder on that after watching this movie.

At the beginning of the movie the father says "Having a child who is sick is a full time occupation. Sure we still enjoy the usual day to day happinesses of family life...But beneath the exterior there are cracks that threaten the very foundation of our everyday lives... at any moment our whole world could come tumbling down." I loved that line it such an accurate description of my life sometimes. We cling to Isaac so tightly and would do anything to help him. I have therapy appointments for him three days a week we are on a first name basis with WAY to many Dr's. Trust me you never want your Dr. to say "but your child is so unique" or "it is so good to see you I feel like we are family." But at the same time it is nice to have so many people in our corner fighting for what we are fighting for, a good life for Isaac. There was a time when I was sure Isaac was going to die. I remember feeling so helpless when I thought about having to decide to let him go. I remember feeling so angry that he was laying there sick in a hospital bed while everything else just went on like normal.

So am I being the best mom I can be to the Miles and Isaac? Am I strengthening my relationship with Michael? Did you know parents of special needs kids have a 80% divorce rate? I am trying but this movie made me think that I need to try harder. I need to focus on the relationship I have with Miles and I need to focus on the relationship I have with Michael. Do I need to let Isaac go a little more? We are going to add another child to our family and I know I will love her just as I love my boys but is it really fair to bring her into a family with a sick child? Can I give her the family she needs and the attention she needs from me? I think the answer is yes but I will need to be aware of that relationship just like I am aware of the others in my life.

My goals for my children are for them to be themselves. I want them to love their siblings. I don't ever want them to feel like Mile- Isaac's brother. I want him to be Miles the amazing, smart, fun, loving, little boy that he is. I want Abeni to be herself. I want Isaac to be Isaac; not the sick brother. So I will do my best to make that happen for my kids.

I'm sending my thoughts out into the virtual world I think I just needed to think out-loud. So if you are still reading this thanks. If you have any advice please share. If you want to just point out a flaw in my thinking feel free.

Thankful Thursday

When I was young my mother used to listen to a Christmas song by Barbara Streisend. It was called "The Best Gift."
Here are the lyrics.

The best gift
That I ever got
Didn't really weigh a lot
It didn't have a ribbon 'round
And it sometimes made the terrible sound
The best of all it seems to me
It wasn't neath the Christmas tree
And yet, I guess I'd have to say
That it made all the other presents twice as gay
The best gift that I've ever known
I'd always wanted most to own
Yet in my dreams of sugar and spice
I never thought it could be so nice
The best gift that I ever get
Was sometimes dry and sometimes wet
Was usually pink but oftentimes red
As it lay so innocently in its bed
The best gift of the year to me
The one I hold most dear to me
A gift that simply drove me wild
Was a tiny new born child...

I love my boys they are my joy and my laughter. I am truly blessed to hold their little hands, dry their little tears and share their little victories. They make Christmas the most wonderful time of the year.

Answers....

I opened this up to friends on facebook so some of the questions are very basic like

Question:
You are adopting? Do tell.

Answer:
We are adopting! We are thrilled to be adding a little girl to our family from South Korea!

Question:
Why South Korea?

Answer:
Michael and I feel that we are able to offer a child from South Korea with a the most connection to her birth country. We have both been to Korea. Michael even served an LDS mission there for two years. Michael speaks Korean, and we have Korean friends who can teach our daughter about Korea.

Question:
What is going on with Isaac right now:

Answer:
Kicker never ceases to amaze us! He is doing so well. He has speech, physical, and occupational therapy those appointments add up to about three times a week. He is walking and is working on running and jumping. He is also working on building his speech memory. Currently we are working through some concerns about his sleep and his heart. He is iron deficient and we are really working hard on getting his nutrition where it needs to be.

Question:
Through all of this.....what have leaned on for your support to get through the tough times?

Answer:
Wow this question made me think introspectively. Michael is my primary source of comfort and support. He lifts me up when I am down and seems to always know what I need from him to calm my storms. Outside of him I have an amazing family! I lean on my mom and my dad and my two aunts more then any other people in the world. My mom is able to help me see that I am blessed beyond belief when I feel overwhelmed. My aunt Juli is a comforter and understanding of the struggles more then anyone I have met. My aunt Karen helps those around her in such a quiet gentle manner. I think that often the things she does go unnoticed and unacknowledged.

So that is it for questions and answers thanks everyone for asking. I had fun!

Questions and Answers

So as I sit here and wait... (I'm trying to not let it get to me but it really is). I've decided that it is time to do a question and answer post. Is there something you are dying to know about our family? Wondering why we are adopting? Something about the adoption process that you want clarification on? Wondering about Kickers health? Anything is open for discussion. I will moderate comments for this post so no one will know who asked what but me. Also don't worry about offending me I am a pretty easy going person so it takes a lot to offend me. I will leave this post up for a while so ask away.

Something Exciting

I'm getting bored with my own blog; I think that means that something exciting needs to happen. I have a great idea! I am just waiting on the last few things to fall into place. I hope to have this new exciting, amazing, super, feature up by the end of next week!!!! In the mean time I wanted to give a little preview so try and guess what this has to do with my new blog feature.

Grandma and Grandpa Crazy

I have cool Grandparents. I really do. I have been able to get to know all four of them. Grandpa Kent left this life August of 2003 and I miss him greatly. Gramma Happy is just that, happy so loving and involved in life. She has taught me many things about life and has provided me with guidance in many parts of my life. This post is about Grandma and Grandpa Crazy though... They are cowboys in every sense of the word. They are both in their 80's and still live alone, run a farm, and teach and take care of so many people. Well they were taking care of us again Friday. They got on the ATV and went up in the mountains to go find Christmas trees for all of us.  About 6 miles into the canyon the ATV started smoking and broke down. Grandma and Grandpa were stuck with out a cell phone and no way to keep warm. With more strength than I can imagine they both made it 2 miles in the dark night it was 15 degrees. They kept falling and both got very scratched up. Then grandma had to give up. Grandpa is so brave he keep going he made it 5 miles and then he couldn't make it up the last hill. Luckily someone came into the canyon and found Grandpa they drove to where Grandma was and brought them out of the canyon. My aunts and Mom insisted that they go to the hospital, they are both doing OK. Grandma has frostbite on her lower legs, and may loose toes or her feet, they both are dehydrated but they are doing well all things considered. Again they are teaching me so many lessons, the strength of love, the strength of the will to live, and that age is an attitude not a number. I love you Gram and Grampa Crazy, thank you for the gift of knowing you.

National Toy Hall of Fame

Well this is great!!! They have inducted the stick into the toy hall of fame. I am thrilled. While shopping for Christmas toys this year I was taken aback by the the amount of useless toys in the US. Honestly! So the stick will join the cardboard box in the national toy hall of fame.  I thought that my grandparents, my parents, my husband and I, and my children have all played with and enjoyed the stick. So congratulations to the stick I am actually thinking of wrapping up a stick to put under the tree for my kids, I'll even put it in a cardboard box.

To help you all reminisce about your own childhood I have found a list of the toys that are members of the National Toy Hall of Fame. 

Alphabet Blocks

Barbie (I disagree with this one)

Bicycle

Candy Land

Cardboard Box

Checkers

Crayola Crayons

Duncan Yo Yo Set

Erector Set

Etch a Sketch

Frisbee

G.I. Joe

Hula Hoop

Jack In The Box

Jacks

Jigsaw Puzzle

Jump Rope

LEGO

Lincoln Logs

Marbles

Monopoly

Mr. Potato Head

Play Dough

Radio Flyer Wagon

Raggedy Ann

Rocking Horse

Roller Skates

Scrabble

Silly Putty

Slinky

Stick

Teddy Bear

TinkerToy

Tonka Trucks

View Master

Veteran's Day

Veteran's day has become such an important holiday in my life in the last six years. I used to not even celebrate the holiday and only knew it was Veteran's Day if I looked on a calender. Now I remember those men who have given of themselves and their family's who have given part of their heart. I remember those that never came home and those that came home with visible or not visible scars. I remember my grandfathers who sacrificed so much. I am proud of my military heritage. Today when I called my grandfather to tell him thank you (a new tradition that I began about 4 years ago) I became sad because I thought back to my grandpa Kent and how I never told him that I appreciate the sacrifice that he made to give me the life that I lead now. Thank you Grandpa I love you and I miss you. 

Tonight I will hold Michael and My Boys a little tighter when we have family cuddles and book reading time. I will remember that freedom is not free. I will remember Grandpa Kent, and Grandpa Steve. I will have Miles call his Papa Jay to thank him. I will cry happy tears for being able to hold my soldier tonight and sad tears for those who are separated from their soldier.