"Ment to be"

So adoption is complicated and has me thinking lots about deep and complicated situations. One of the things that has been on my thoughts lately is the phrase "this child was ment to be with our family." I have read the writings of adult adoptees on this very subject and they really struggle with how could an all good all loving God allow their birth family and themselves to suffer such a loss. I have been thinking on this and trying to sort this all out in my mind. I have come to the following conclusion. God is all good but we as people are not. He knows that we will make mistakes he knows that the birth families of children placed for adoption will not be able to parent them. Does that make it right? I don't think so. Does it make it part of his plan for the life of those involved I think so. I feel that God knows what will happen in our lives before it will happen. That does not eliminate our chances to choose for ourselves because we still can choose. For example if I know Miles is going to do something that doesn't mean he has to do it just that he will. So here are my feeling on if Abeni is "ment to be with our family."

1. God loves Abeni, her birth family, and our family.

2. God wants what is best for all of us.

3. God knows how Abeni will come to our family. He knows that there is hurt involved in that situation.

4. God does not want for any of his children to hurt.

So I think that it is part of God's plan for Abeni that she come into our family. I don't like the phrase "ment to be" because for me it oversimplifies a complicated situation.

#9

As of monday we are #9 on the waiting list. There is a family on hold that will likely be on hold for a while longer so that makes us #8. The family who received their referral on Thursday is one of my online buddies. Congrats to Jamie and her family their little girl is such a sweet little thing with LOTS of hair.

To my Korean Princess

Abeni,

Hey baby girl, Dad here. Just wanted to let you know that we are still waiting for you and we haven't given up on Korea sending you home. It has been one year since we sent in our official application to show we were ready to bring a sweet baby girl into our home. I often dream about you, my first dream I was able to see your face and put you in your crib after rocking you to sleep. I knew right then we were on the right track and that God was preparing the lives of two wonderful people to cross paths and share the blessing of bringing you into this world. I am sorry that your biological mother will not be able to care for you personally. However, know that she is taking care of you by placing you with our family and that she has faith that we will take care of you as well as she would if she was able. Some will ask why you look differently than your parents and your brothers, know that you will always be able to tell them that "I am a child of God, and that I do like my brothers (future sister) and parents." Sweetheart, I am counting down to the time where mom and I can come to you, take you into our warm embrace, and carry you to your new home. Don't worry about the future, who you are, or where you come from. Dad plans on teaching you Korean and about your heritage so that one day, you will be able to know and understand that part of your life. As often as permits we will go as a family to Korea, and maybe your aunt Insook will let you come stay at her house so you can get to know part of Daddy's Korean family. Sweet Angel, I long to hold you in my arms, I can't wait to be there for the tea parties, the dress up, and your first date. I can not promise that I won't be to embarrassing, I will try to keep my distance. Would you say two car lengths behind will be sufficient? Love you, and am dreaming about you.

Dad!

One year ago today...

we mailed in our formal application. We have been waiting one year for our little one. There have been good and bad days but I can honestly say I am learning growing and will be ready when God sends Abeni to us. Here is last years post. I will write a new letter to my girl in the morning.

I have decided at every major adoption milestone I will write a letter to Abeni, so when she is older and wonders she can know just how loved she was before she was ever born.


Abeni,

Today we mailed in the Formal application to adopt you. But did you know..... before Daddy and I even got married we talked about adopting you. Did you know..... even though we weren't the first people to hold you we held you in our hearts for years before we held you in our arms. Did you know...... Miles and Isaac waited for you too. Miles often tells me "we are missing our stister Abeni." He also shared his fruit snacks with you before you were born. Did you know...... we thought about you planned for you and worried about you for years before we finally held you. So today as we officially begin our journey to you I wanted you to know that we love you little girl. We are waiting anxiously to see your face to hold your hand to learn about the person you are and watch you grow into the woman you will be.

Love Mom

Japchae

I made one of my favorite Korean meals today! Check out this link... I've only tried the Japchae but it was delish! The picture doesn't really do it justice.
http://aeriskitchen.com/

Dominoes

I'm going to make my dominoes picture and post it tonight. I'm just so blah blah blah about this wait. This adoption stuff is hard. Honestly when we signed up we were thinking (read we were told) 18-24 months for placement. That is really what was happening at the time. Now we are at 11 1/2 months of being on the list and aren't even close. I keep hoping that things will start happening again. But it seems if it's not one thing it's another. First there was just a general slow down, then Eastern got a new director, then lots of new job assignments slowed things down, now there is some sort of audit going on..... I don't know. At this point mathematically speaking we could get our referral 7-8 months from now so around May or June! Waiting is just painful.

It's official!

Well the two families who received referrals have finally posted their announcements so I feel like I can say.... WE ARE NUMBER ELEVEN!!!! Also there is a family on hold that may be on hold a while longer so we could be number 10! I am so thrilled for K and C. Congrats ladies!!!!